I ran away from blogging several months ago, and decided to slowly start again a few months back. After cautiously writing here and there, a sister friend asked me what I was waiting for. There are so many reasons and excuses I could list and go on for days. The truth is that I let the clutter in my head keep me from forging forward. She told me I retreat and have learned to cover up with a quick " I'm just gonna be a mom right now" ( whatever that means ) but she was so right. So here I am, 31 year old me, hiding behind excuses and fears. Fears that aren't real and simply a figment of my imagination. This list is to help me maintain my focus, to settle in with my why. These are my truths! My 31 things about a 31 year old me. From Syreena, To Syreena....With Love.

1. I love to write. But writing is a discipline. I'm not the most disciplined of a person. But I'm working on that.

2. This blog is an ongoing love letter from me to me. And if it happens to help someone along the way well that's just dandy

3. This is, without a shadow of a doubt, a faith based blog. And if at anytime it begins to seem less and less so, you've got permission to check me boo!

4. I'm committed to blogging. Because at the heart, I love it. But that doesn't mean every post will be perfect. In fact, most of my post will be random, real and aren't guaranteed to make complete adult sence. I'm surrounded by three babies four and under after all.

5. I will make bloggy friends for community and encouragement. Not to torture myself from comparison.

6. Im in a constant state of discovery. Discovering who I am as a wife, as a mom, as a friend, as a homeschoolers, as a creative. All of these things I hope to share on this blog. As authentically as possible.

7. I've been trying to clean up my eating for years. This year might just be the one

8. I am responsible for my own happiness. I am responsible for my own happiness. I forget that at least three times a day. I'm working on it.

9. I do not believe in reinventing the wheel. I just wanna love life rolling with it. I plan on filling my life with stuff I love from the inspiration of this wonderful world of web. And I plan on linking back heavily and shouting out whatever source I may have gathered the inspiration from.

10. It's important to me that I find out and meditate on what God says about me. Only then will I be able to teach my babies what God says about them.

11. I think about money way too much and totally miss the mark most times. This post and these verses ground me when I need to be reminding that my God is a God of resources and riches, not necessarily "money".

12. Husband, boy 1 boy 2 and a lady baby. They are my job. I get paid in hugs and kisses

13. I'm a homeschooling mama. There I said it, I'm committed. But the decision to homeschool was not by choice but rather assignment. I have no clue what I'm doing. But by grace through faith it'll be the best decision I ever made.

14. I believe in electronic homeschooling, if there is such a thing. You know, with iPads, stylus pens, Netfilx, HDMI cords and tons and tons of awesome apps. There will be plenty of post on my homeschool style. I hope.

15. Fresh flowers, yummy candles and handmade decor make me feel like a legit homemaker. Major Memo to Me : keep flowers, candles and handmade pretties on deck.

16. I'm obsessed with being my family's memory keeper. Problem is, my obsession is all in my head. More picture taking and video making and actually sharing with family and friends is in order.

17. I'm on a mission to print & organize more pictures and make more home movies

18. In my mind I find any reason to celebrate with cake and party favors. From major holidays and birthday weeks to tv show premiers, award shows. I am about that life. Problem is, I can be anti social, I'm always "too tired" or want things "too perfect" and let my celebration ideas slip away. I plan to change that.

19. I'm obsessed with creating family traditions, themed dinner and a movie nights, Jammie of the Month, Happy mail. Mondays... The list goes on.

20. Both of my boys were born with severe allergies. Wheat, egg, soy, milk, peanut, fish allergies. They have been healed of all but peanut and fish.

21. I have a huge vision for the type of home I want to create. I working on writing that vision out plainly.

22. Being a stay at home mom is the hardest job I've ever had in my life. I think of quitting at least twice a day.

23. I have a TON of dreams a bunch of unrelated talents and very raw undefined passions. There is no way I can try to figure it all out on my own. So everyday is a conscious death of my own will and a surrender to his grace. His plan is better than mine anyway.

24. Go & Do! I wanna live by this.

25. Pinterest made me think I was doing cool things eating fancy meals, and living a happy life. I plan on bringing all that jazz into my realm of reality with several Pinterest challenges to come.

26. I don't do twitter, I don't do Facebook. But Instagram, Pinterest and Vimeo are my best friends.

27. It is a dream of mine to write several children's books starring my kiddos and chronicling different milestones in THIER lives. I dream of them hanging out on a book signing tour one day, reading and flipping through pages of their little animated faces and reminiscing on all the fun they had.

28. It is a dream of mine to design/make clothes for my kids/kids.

29. It is a dream of mine to design t-shirts and own a cute and crafty shop one day. There, I said that. Now I can't wait for the day I can say, "she did that" instead.

30. It is a dream of mine to travel the world. And, yet, I am soooo not the traveling type. Im working on that too. 

Now I know that I am one short of 31 things, but finishing is a huge problem for me so I refuse to let this post linger on until I can think of just one more. If it comes to me, Ill update the post. If not, Ill just have to be short one little thing ;)

From Syreena, With Love 

motherhood, parentingSyreena B