it feels like its going by way too fast, the fall. thanksgiving is just around the corner so the holidays are basically in full swing right now. one of my favorite things about the fall is that it feels like its the sweetest reminder that winter is coming. and while i don't know many people that are in love with the winter, to me, it is a season that has a beautiful way of slowing things down a bit. with every leaf that i watch drift from its branch to the ground, it feels like tiny whispers telling me to take it slowly, to enjoy the small/important things despite all of the mountains around me.
its been exactly 7 months and 2 days since BDH lost his job and we are in such a space of transition right now. a space of somewhat anxious excitement that often crosses over into borderline worry, when we aren't careful. we recognize the tiny signs all around us that the seasons are changing and it carries both excitement and worry, depending upon which one we choose that day. it is my prayer that we will be strong enough to choose excitement far more often than not. the excitement of knowing that God is our source of strength, our source of comfort, our source of provision, our source of rest.
im grateful for this season. the lessons that are learned through the trials and the mistakes are invaluable. i want to remember them. i want them to serve as reminders of HIS faithfulness and HIS love as a father. i understand this so much more as i grow in parenting my own children. the lessons that shape their character come from the mistakes they make and the seasons of waiting/resting. i get it. i totally get it.
for me, this fall/winter serves as a visible reminder of resting in HIM. that HIS plan is better than my plan. that HIS ways are better than my ways. i keep meditating on a message that i came across several weeks ago. i play it over and over again in my head as if it where my very own conversation with HIM.
"holy spirit: don't you love how far you can see?
holy spirit: look how far you can see right now. don't you love the clarity that winter brings?
holy spirit: do you feel anxiety in the trees? do they feel anxious that they'll never have leaves again and bloom again?
me: Lord, of course they dont.
holy spirit: theres a confidence and a security in my heart. do not misinterpret this season... get the necessity of seasons of rest and barrenness to the fruitfulness of your spring and harvest."
winter is coming and I'm entering into this season of rest with confidence and security! <<< remember this syreena, remember this!
and by all means, please don't let the position of the little post of mine mislead you. this is a position that i have CHOSEN. its a position that i am rooted in. i have my moments. my days are often filled with these "moments". moments full of tears and frustrations, sometimes of jealousy, fears & doubts. yet, i stand on the FACT that HIS power is made perfect in my weakness, and HIS grace is sufficient (2 corinthians 12:9). soon, and very soon, this will all be a distant memory written on a few pages towards the beginning of the story of my life.
from syreena, with love