i'm on day 18 of vlogsgiving and just getting around to posting day NINE. trying to manage so much as a mommy, a wife, a business woman, a friend and falling "short" far too often than not can be SO frustrating. it can also be an incredible reminder of the GRACE we have been GIVEN and the importance of patience with ourselves and with others. it is crazy hard to practice patience with others when you have none with yourself. 

i've yelled at you (my babies) and attempted to dismiss you far too often lately. and, while it makes me feel incredibly guilty and like the world's worst homeschool mom the guilt fixes NOTHING. the reality is that i have been stretched, tested and under a lot of pressure but i ALWAYS have a choice. 

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over the last several days, i have questioned my qualification to homeschool my babies, changed my mind about choosing the right curriculum about eighty-five times, and have been overwhelmed with thoughts of inadequacy as their mama. a.k.a, we've been sick. 

it started the thursday before last with kendall bear, two days later.... it hit cam and I've been pushing through for over a week now. i keep reminding myself that it hasn't been THAT long and that this too shall pass but, its just been one of those times. 

is it just me or do all the sweetest moments with your kids happen at times where you have to fight to savor them??? you know, when you try your hardest to listen to their laugh in slow motion? i can't be the only one that does that. this time around i, basically, felt like i was near death and this sweet little lady baby insisted on staying right next to me. she wanted to "do mommy's hair"( which is NOT as sweet as it sounds). she kept grabbing my face and climbing on top of my head to check my temperature. it was like heaven and hell all at the same time (i kid, i kid...but not really). #realmotherhood


at any rate, i did everything within my power to try and savor the precious moments amongst the mess. and, these photos of my lady trying to read a few doc mcstuffins books to me to help me feel better... GOLD!

p.s. this TOO shall pass.

from syreena, with love 


tonight, we put up our christmas tree and i have to admit, I'm sad to feel fall pass by so quickly (sorry, no christmas pictures yet, I'm just not ready) !!! i am pretty sure that time is flying by and I'm having trouble figuring out how to slow things down a bit. my dear husband has been on a new job for three whole weeks now and i snapped a few photos for old time sake. it was his first saturday OFF in a VERY LONG time and we spent it doing "normal things" with BIG gratitude. 

the gratitude that I've felt since that first saturday OFF is most certainly a result of a change in perspective. he has had saturdays off on jobs in the past and i had no clue how much i took them for granted until they were taken away. i know that may sound bratty. i am aware that there are plenty of people that have to work long hours and through the weekends etc. but, its just not something that i want for my family. and, to have our weekends back again is pure GOLD in life right now. 

my perspective changes when i think of them... i often say to myself. what would i say to him/her if they were in our shoes...  experiencing the same challenges that life has thrown our way.... I've been thinking this way a TON lately. 

i want them to know that purpose is where the prize is and that perspective and progress mean so much during challenging times. this is random, i know. but, so key. troubles don't last forever. just keep moving forward, just keep walking, one day at a time. 

everything we did that saturday was so basic and i loved it! my dear husband washed the cars and the lady baby tagged along. 

she is getting so big so quickly and i don't have another baby to buffer the sadness of all my babies growing so very quickly. it sucks. 

there is a tree right outside of our front yard, that turns the most beautiful shades of fall and sheds all its leaves within a week. every year i get pictures of my babies jumping, laughing and playing underneath that beautiful tree!

every year this beautiful tree lets go of its gorgeous leaves with certainty that next year will bring new beauty. i want to do the same. i want to give out the best of me, all my love, all my gifts... with certainty that these beautiful parts of me will never dry up and always produce new and better each and every year. 

as hard as it is to watch them grow so quickly, i have to adjust my perspective, they are were my purpose lies and it is in them that i find my prize.  

i promise you, this average, basic, normal saturday... was the best thing that has happened to us in such a long time :) 

from syreena, with love


it is a saturday morning and brian is working, the kids just finished up breakfast and i am doing a bit of house cleaning and travel planning. i have been taking a lot of video lately, and have only chosen to take photos on a few random occasions. i have said it before, but one of the biggest challenges in picking up video/filmmaking is that it is kinda hard to figure out when you should be filming or photographing. trust me, the struggle is REAL #firstworldproblems. i think i have come up with a solution and have made a plan to stick to my new photo/video schedule and see how things work out. 

in the meantime... these few pictures are, really, the only photos that i have taken lately. just a few snaps from another saturday morning waiting for daddy to get home. 

from syreena, with love


i have no idea exactly how we got here. i remember wearing her in my wrap and looking down at her face staring back at me. i remember staring so deep into her eyes and thinking, "i wonder what you will be like when you are THREE?" she was such a beautiful baby then and an even more beautiful little girl now. this morning, i plan on making her favorite breakfast, painting her nails, braiding her hair, coloring pretty flowers, playing dress up, opening our play restaurant for business and singing the Home Soundtrack at the very top of my lungs with her. but right now, i just want to stare at a few more photos of her when she wasn't THREE and was still my lady baby.

i can't stress enough how much having photos/videos/blog post + journal entries, bless me as my babies get older. like the story of her birth, and how different it was to have a girl, when i was having trouble adjusting to three kids, and being a newbie at doing hair, or when she turned three months old, and that scary time she spent nights in the hospital, up until we celebrated her first birthday!!! and now she is THREE...

my only regret is that i wish i had taken MORE pictures, MORE videos and written MORE blog post + journal entries. but thats ok.... there is always room to step it up a little :)

i love my little lady baby with all of my heart. happy birthday my precious little girl.

from syreena, with love


i can't help but to think about my last baby this morning. she will be a three year old in just three days and while it kinda makes me sad, i am constantly reminded that she is such a gift and evidence that faith does work! i won't get into all of the details but this is the doll and the rug that i bought when i found out i was pregnant and months before they confirmed that she was, in fact, a baby GIRL! 

i have been browsing through photos/video (like i always do :) to find precious little memories of our lives after this cutie came along. as she sits right next to me, with her laptop right beside mine (doing work) i am so grateful that she is mine. 

from syreena, with love


last week, the boys were playing video games together. video games are not my favorite, and they definitely don't make me feel like a great mother inside. but they really enjoy playing them together and they, most certainly, give mommy some time to get a few extra things checked off of her list from time to time. i could hear the "oooooooo's and ahhhhhhh's, every few seconds with a few instructions on how to keep the teamwork going and the bad guys away. when, all of a sudden, i hear cameron say to kendall, "oooohhhhh yeahhhhhhhhhh! good job BRO!!!" 

im not sure if i can even explain it, but it made me so very happy inside. it also made me feel like time has been flying by, so i had to dig up a few pictures of them with their precious little baby faces to calm any anxieties about this whole motherhood thing going by wayyyyy too fast. 

can't believe this was them just a few years ago. my babies!

from syreena, with love


it is 8:00am on a friday morning and i just spent a super long time (over the last few days) sorting through pictures and video and i have so much to share. i really do have to do better at disciplining myself to share consistently because i love it so much. its funny how we find healing in the strangest of ways sometimes. there is a quote that i love, that pretty much sums up my need to create through photos/videos/writing etc....

" I am convinced that God has built into all of us an appreciation of beauty and has even allowed us to participate in the creation of beautiful things and places. It may be one way God brings healing to our brokenness, and a way that we can contribute toward bringing wholeness to our fallen world."

 ~ Mary Jane Worden

so heres, yet another memo to me to write more,to share more..... so heres to a quick story about a few sundays ago...

the boys went to a birthday party after church and we ladies, spent the afternoon enjoying some girl time together. its funny, because i think there was a bit of separation anxiety for my little lady baby. she absolutely loves being with her daddy and her brothers. i have to admit that she spent the first hour or so constantly asking, "where are brothers?, wheres daddy?" it was so very cute and so irritating all at the same time. but then i realized that it was my own fault. we are so used to doing everything all together that when we get a little girl time alone... we barely knew what to do with ourselves. LOL

we stopped by to pick up a few doughnuts (to sweeten to deal) and we headed home to find a few things to enjoy together. 

we had a dance party, played hide and seek, blew a few bubbles in the back yard and picked some fresh rosemary from our "sweet pea garden" to make rosemary lemon chicken for dinner. 

what i took away from our precious moments that sunday is that i want to do a better job spending one-on-one time with my lady. actually, i want to do a better job spending one-on-one time with all of my loves. 

anywho.... off to make breakfast and a few friday plans with all three of my munchkins today. 

from syreena, with love


my babies are done with soccer for the spring and i am soooooooo glad it is over, LOL. spring soccer has been so different from fall soccer. the weather just hasn't been fun at all and with brian working on the weekends and me not having a car the whole season, its been a true labor of love. 

it was so fun getting to watch both of the boys play this time around. slightly tricky to juggle watch time for each of my babies when their games often ran right into one another but super fun. 

cameron has really grow between this season and his last. he is so competitive and very determined and excited about life, its contagious. he also really enjoys the teamwork and is very attentive to instruction which is a wonderful thing to watch as his momma :)

kendall..... boy, oh boy my kendall bear! i was so pleasantly surprised by how competitive he is turning out to be. he is not as naturally into sports as his brother his but we found a way to make it exciting and that was with MATH!!! he absolutely loved keeping the score and would constantly score and then turn to look for me with his thumb high in the air and his dimples decorating that cute little smile of his, " did you see that mommy?". he's an amazing kid.

i am so glad to see spring soccer go and well a much warmer, more pleasant season of soccer in the fall. not quite sure if i will have all three of them signed up and ready to go but it so... jesus be an energy drink LOl. love my babies.

p.s. we vlogged the day of their last game just in case you'd like to check it out HERE ON OUR FAMILY VIDEO DIARY

from syreena, with love


the other day i posted on my instagram about how ridiculously exciting it is how well they have learned to learn together. even with the two years that separate them & their complete differences in personality, they complement one another. i just get to sit back and watch as each of them lets their strengths cover the others weaknesses, and it often takes my breath away. schooling kids of different ages/levels has been the biggest challenge for me. it is really hard to stick to a curriculum or a “learning path” for that matter. hard to tell when to be firm with them when i introduce a new method of learning something or when to let go and allow them to explore a topic/subject freely. i keep having to fight the urge to label them with a grade level or stick them into a specific learning style. its hard. but i have learned that they work so very well as a unit, as a team. i feel so blessed and grateful to God for the way they learn together. 

from syreena, with love